Mitt Romney Conveniently Forgets About the People of Tuvalu and Other Things

Last night at the the Republican convention, Mitt Romney somehow made it to the stage. After what seemed like hours of roundabout opinions that revealed nothing of his real stance, Romney started getting a gurgle in his intestinal region. This was the big nasty, something that would lose him the election if he did not make it to the bathroom. What would his boy-toy Paul Ryan think of him. Does his wife know about his obsession? Mitt Romney knew that he needed to wrap up the speech quickly, so he began to spew forth disinformation.

New Signs of Civilization Before Sumer

An exciting bit of news hit our desk late last night from a renowned archaeologist, the Doctor James le'Truth. Stunning information was discovered by Dr. le'Truth last month at a dig in the Sahara desert region. le'Truth claims that he found and dated artifacts that show their very ancient nature. After being skeptical of his readings, le'Truth retested the artifacts ten different times using different methods each time. The age of the artifacts? Over twenty thousand years old.

"I was amazed at this discovery. After all, I was the one who had a fellow archaeologist discredited and put to shame by the scientific community. I destroyed her, mainly because I did not want to agree that most of what we as archaeologists and cultural anthropologists support as fact, is indeed false."

He went on to say that he used to be part of the dogmatic community.

Stupid Person Doesn't Like People Who Graduated High School

This insanely boring news was brought to our attention here at SatireSanity News Corp. only a few hours ago. A man by the name of Butch was approached by our star reporter, Daniel H, after a commotion occurred outside of a local high school.

When our reporter approached the high school he was hit by a wave of stupidity, radiating from a distinctly ignorant look man-child. He was able to ask Butch a few questions about his protesting outside of the school.

Drinking and Driving - The Harsh Reality

This is a video I direct with a friend of mine about the consequences of drunk driving. Please watch, comment and enjoy!

Apple Still Blowing the Whistle

Last week, after the famous court battle between Apple and Samsung finished with Apple being triumphant, Samsung was up in arms about appeal. But it doesn't stop at that.

According to our source at the US patent office, Apple has been getting patents for just about anything. An Apple employee issued the following statement:

"After our win against Samsung, we plan to monopolize the smartphone market with yet another lawsuit. Only this time, it will be against all current smartphone manufacturers."

China's Leader Upset About Rebellion

Today an important story was shared with us from our Chinese correspondent, whose name must be protected but probably won't be. Reports show that China's Paramount Leader, Hu Jintao, has issued an investigation into the rebellious actions of the United States.

"Frankly speaking, Hu Jintao is upset that the States have refused to comply with directives demanded of the nation."

Thanks

Just want to thank all that have visited my blog. Almost have 100 page visits. I have only just started this blog and I think it will be a success. Please continue to check out my new posts, share and enjoy!

The Pope Goes Into Hiding After Accusation

See our first look at this story.

Today at the Vatican, the Pope finally came to the conclusion that Jesus Christ was indeed a witch. His judgement came after the Pope declared all miracles a source of evil.

"God does not condone any supernatural events. He must be really disappointed with his Son on this matter."

Jesus rebutted by mentioning that the Vatican had been found guilty of covering up sexual scandals for decades.

Man still unsure zombies are real.

A man from Fargo, North Dakota is still unsure if zombies are real. After an intense discussion with the city council, he believes that the only way to be safe, one way or another, zombies being real or not, is to barricade the town and hold all visitors in quarantine.

Roz Bombie, head of the city council thinks the suggestion is ridiculous, pointing out that the "zombie" in question was alive during the attack.

The man who suggested the new law, Moe Ofereaxsalot claimed that even if it was a myth, it would protect us in the future when he claims the government will begin trying to reanimate corpses.

Nancy Pelosi Leaks Sex Tape

Our correspondent, Peter Berg found a disturbing video online today as he was skimming for news of import. The video in question shows in great detail the sex life of Nancy Pelosi, former majority leader of the House. What is very disturbing is her choice of sexual partners. It appears that Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres  are both present in the video. This leads to the question of how long Pelosi has been doing this and why she has never informed her constituents of her sexual preferences.