Stupid Person Doesn't Like People Who Graduated High School

This insanely boring news was brought to our attention here at SatireSanity News Corp. only a few hours ago. A man by the name of Butch was approached by our star reporter, Daniel H, after a commotion occurred outside of a local high school.

When our reporter approached the high school he was hit by a wave of stupidity, radiating from a distinctly ignorant look man-child. He was able to ask Butch a few questions about his protesting outside of the school.

Lazy Boy Tired of "Lazy Boys"

Earlier this afternoon, one of our correspondents was cornered by an angry individual, Lazy Boy, a big plush navy blue recliner, with an evident depression in the cushion. Lazy Boy had discovered that our correspondent was in the area and demanded to be interviewed.

"In all my life, I have been abused by obese men. They sit on me, fart and sometimes wet themselves. Let us not mention the gross amount of food and soda spilled on me!"

Our correspondent asked the recliner if he would like to make a statement.

"Lose weight, and stop using me as a trash can. Oh and a shampoo and a new cushion would be appreciated".