Mitt Romney Not Sure What Mormonism Is

Last Saturday, our chief correspondent, Daniel Hines, got a chance to speak with republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. After the candidate shared with us that he had no idea why he was running for president, Daniel asked Mitt about his proclaimed religion, Mormonism. The look on his face was one of confusion and terror.
"I have always wondered that myself. You see, growing up was weird to say the least. My mother, who changed her name to "Xenu", well, you see, she was big into aliens. The whole tin foil hat and all."

Tom Cruise, who for some unknown reason was in the same room with us, started clapping his hands.

"But as to Mormonism, the first time I was introduced to it, we had went to Oklahoma to tour the newly constructed temple there."

Our reporter pointed out that the temple in question had only been constructed in the last decade.

"True, but as I was still living in my father's house, I went where they went."

Mitt continued to explain that Mormonism only became part of the house after his mother, "Xenu", became convinced that the temple was an alien fortress. His father on the other hand, after seeing a large fountain in the building thought it would be great to replace the water with whiskey.

"So, in effect, Mr. Romney, you know absolutely nothing about Mormonism?"

Mitt Romney once again showed confusion and terror on his face.

"I heard that I could have multiple wives", he stated with a grin on his face.

Daniel then asked Mitt why he was running for president.

"I have no idea, my father seems to think free booze comes with the White House"

Our correspondent, before ending the interview handed a dark blue, worn AA book to the candidate. Mitt Romney looked at the book as if he had never seen one.

Mitt Romney for President!

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