Yesterday, after wrapping up my interview with awesome, charitable Dick Cheney, I looked over the extensive recording of the interview. Being as it lasted about 5 hours recording Dick Cheney's humble self, I fell asleep within 30 seconds of his energetic talk. It appears that after Dick Cheney realized I was asleep, he began saying truthful things that the radical left would call propaganda.For instance:
1. Obama is actually the grandson of late dictator, Khadaffi.
2. Liberals are plotting to kill Rush Limbaugh.
3. George W. Bush was a prophet from God.
4. Obamacare covers dead people.
Upon seeing the final point on the list, I became intrigued. It was obviously a truth that had been hidden from all, coming from Cheney's mouth is must be. So I looked online, because everything online is one hundred percent factual. Reports flooded my screen berating Obamacare for it's treatment of dead people. Did you know that dead people are removed from their burial site every year for a full physical? How about every six months for a dental cleaning? Reports even suggest that dead people are often removed monthly for a fresh haircut! And what's worse is that it is all covered by Obamacare.
I spoke to a health professional on the benefits of caring for the dead.
"It is important that our current generation of deceased is well taken care of. I mean, they are the ones who put this country were it is. Besides, refusing healthcare to anybody is just plain wrong. Dead people have civil rights too."
I then asked how regular dental cleanings would help a dead person.
"It is all about making them comfortable. Obamacare was created for these scenarios."
Later after the interview with her I went online to look up some statistics. According to Wikipedia, there are more uninsured living people than uninsured dead people. As a matter of fact, ALL dead people have coverage at the moment I write this.
As I sat down to watch the nightly news, a horrible story of a deceased lady with cancer was shown.
"She has been through enough. Death then a bout of cancer? We intend to do all in our power to see her recover."
I shake my head and wonder to myself if I can fake my death for such beautiful medical treatment. Thank God Dick Cheney showed me the truth.
Daniel Hines
Reporter for SatireSanity Inc.
They're just a little confused between a stiff member and a staff member, nothing to see here. Why isn't that wrinkled old ---- not taking advantage of the new healthscare, I mean healthcare? Someone should inform him that he's dead, yea,,, that should do it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe payback to all the dead voters who voted Obama in?
ReplyDeleteDead voters get the coolest prizes, didn't you know?
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