Saturday, December 1, 2012

NASA To Unveil Mars Discovery

On December 3rd, NASA is planning on revealing information involving Mars. The hype surrounding this statement only increases as the day steadily approaches. Little information has leaked from NASA but we are proud to report what may be a very small portion of what they plan to reveal. Our informant leaked the following information to us just yesterday.

"NASA has stumbled upon what can only be called earth-shattering, or Mars-shattering as it may now be. Reports of a large colony of Christina Aguilera clones living just under the surface of Mars can be confirmed after the leader of the colony uploaded a photo of the complex onto her Facebook page."

As of yet, we have no news on whether or not they will be joining the cast of "The Voice."

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Man Arrested For Manufacturing Counterfeit Twinkies

Police arrested an unknown man this morning after a neighbor filed a complaint about odd sounds coming from the suspect's basement.

"He kept screaming about how mankind was safe from a zombie apocalypse. What really frightened us was his rapid weight gain and what appeared to be a permanent blob of cream filling on his chin."

Investigators on the scene uncovered a illegal Twinkie lab in the suspect's basement. Evidence of illegal Ding Dong manufacturing was found on the scene.

"The suspect is in big trouble here. These people need to be punished, first meth labs then Twinkie labs?"

Walmart released a statement regarding the situation.

"As with Sudafed, customers are only allowed to purchase up to 3 tubs of cream filling per day."

The local residents are very thankful that the culprit was apprehended.

"The last thing we needed was this evil man selling Twinkies to our children."

No news yet whether Twinkie labs are as flammable as your average meth lab.

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012