|His ears are growing, he trims the nose.|
"Obama has done nothing to restrain China. Two million jobs, American jobs, have been handed to China on a silver platter. Obama's policy on trade relations with the Peoples Republic have failed."
From the crowd, voices turned angry and hostile.
"Now I came here today suspecting opposition, and let me tell you folks, you're a brainless bunch. Romney will not send any jobs to China, he never will, and never has!"
When the crowd began to loudly object, Ryan enacted what moles in the Ryan team refer to as nefarious plan "B."
Ryan removed his Android from his shirt pocket and began dancing provocatively to the sound of club music. As he began to remove his clothes, the entire crowd was heard dialing 9-1-1.
After Ryan was arrested for public nudity, the chief of police gave a solemn statement.
"Ohio law prohibits acts of nudity in public, exotic dancing or not. Scaring the public in the way he did was immoral and unlawful."
Hardcore Romney supporters still plan on supporting the candidates regardless of their actions.
"Like I said before, Romney and Ryan will get my vote no matter what. I hate Obama so what other choice do I have? Ryan may be a dirty sex offender but I would rather have that in office than Obama."
As to whether or not they would still vote that way if Romney and Ryan charged with the mass murdering children, well... we got the same answer.
Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012
"Obama campaign spokesman Danny Kanner wrote in a statement: “Congressman Ryan’s tough rhetoric can’t hide the fact that Mitt Romney will never crack down on China’s cheating – just look at his record. When President Obama stood up to China on behalf of American tire workers, Romney called it ‘decidedly bad for the nation.'"
Source: NBC News
--End of Fact Check--