The Israeli people were quick to respond, bomb shelters were utilized and the Israeli Air Force deployed 30,000 of it's overwhelming fleet of F-16 Fighting Falcon's.
Ultimately, the unidentified object turned out to be a rogue plastic bag. The United States was in uproar after the plastic bag was identified to have American origin.
Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, sent a statement to Israel warning the rogue state to cease hostilities or face U.S. retaliatory measures.
"This is a blatant act of war. The Israeli government made no attempt to identify the origin of the plastic bag. This loss has deeply saddened the nation, we cannot afford more bloodshed."
The American flag was flown at half mast today as a memorial for the late plastic bag.
Walmart later came forward to claim the plastic bag.
"Israel has made an enemy today. The loss of this plastic bag will have a major financial impact in the following months."
Walmart began the process of shutting down the twelve chains present in Israel. This will make Sam's Choice beverages unattainable for the large population in Jerusalem who swear by it's quality.
Israel began strategic operations to protect it's airspace from future plastic bag intrusions.
"Israel will began calibrating it's Jericho intercontinental ballistic missiles, boosting their effectiveness against future invasions of the plastic type."
The United States, in retaliation readied it's famous Tomahawk cruise missiles against possible threats of airborn Israeli recyclable paper bags.
"Let it be known that Israel does not scare us and will not succeed in this conflict.
Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012
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