Lazy Boy Tired of "Lazy Boys"

Earlier this afternoon, one of our correspondents was cornered by an angry individual, Lazy Boy, a big plush navy blue recliner, with an evident depression in the cushion. Lazy Boy had discovered that our correspondent was in the area and demanded to be interviewed.

"In all my life, I have been abused by obese men. They sit on me, fart and sometimes wet themselves. Let us not mention the gross amount of food and soda spilled on me!"

Our correspondent asked the recliner if he would like to make a statement.

"Lose weight, and stop using me as a trash can. Oh and a shampoo and a new cushion would be appreciated".