Thousands of 'Striking' Teachers Rally In Chicago

Thousands of striking teachers rally today in Chicago. After getting denied by the city a permit for their annual 'Striking Teachers Bikini Parade', thousands of beautiful teachers flocked to the streets to hold the event anyway.

Reverend Jesse Jackson was one of several speakers who spoke today at the the event.

"This is a protest held by several gorgeous teachers of Chicago. The leaders of this rally are tired of being treated wrongly by school officials."

The board of education denounced the parade as a distraction for thousands of school children.

"We neither condone nor support this rally. We will maintain our policy of treating these teachers as ugly individuals."

Many residents across the nation believe this a true turning point for beautiful teachers across the nation.

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012

New Signs of Civilization Before Sumer

An exciting bit of news hit our desk late last night from a renowned archaeologist, the Doctor James le'Truth. Stunning information was discovered by Dr. le'Truth last month at a dig in the Sahara desert region. le'Truth claims that he found and dated artifacts that show their very ancient nature. After being skeptical of his readings, le'Truth retested the artifacts ten different times using different methods each time. The age of the artifacts? Over twenty thousand years old.

"I was amazed at this discovery. After all, I was the one who had a fellow archaeologist discredited and put to shame by the scientific community. I destroyed her, mainly because I did not want to agree that most of what we as archaeologists and cultural anthropologists support as fact, is indeed false."

He went on to say that he used to be part of the dogmatic community.

Stupid Person Doesn't Like People Who Graduated High School

This insanely boring news was brought to our attention here at SatireSanity News Corp. only a few hours ago. A man by the name of Butch was approached by our star reporter, Daniel H, after a commotion occurred outside of a local high school.

When our reporter approached the high school he was hit by a wave of stupidity, radiating from a distinctly ignorant look man-child. He was able to ask Butch a few questions about his protesting outside of the school.