Thursday, August 30, 2012

New Signs of Civilization Before Sumer

An exciting bit of news hit our desk late last night from a renowned archaeologist, the Doctor James le'Truth. Stunning information was discovered by Dr. le'Truth last month at a dig in the Sahara desert region. le'Truth claims that he found and dated artifacts that show their very ancient nature. After being skeptical of his readings, le'Truth retested the artifacts ten different times using different methods each time. The age of the artifacts? Over twenty thousand years old.

"I was amazed at this discovery. After all, I was the one who had a fellow archaeologist discredited and put to shame by the scientific community. I destroyed her, mainly because I did not want to agree that most of what we as archaeologists and cultural anthropologists support as fact, is indeed false."

He went on to say that he used to be part of the dogmatic community.






"Destroy all evidence of the truth because we are too lazy to rewrite ancient history. I mean, do you understand how much work that would involve? So instead of writing the truth, we discredit everyone who goes against the grain."

We asked him about the signs of water damage on the Sphinx.

"It isn't true! No civilization could have existed in Egypt when water flooded the area! Whoever said that should have their lives destroyed! Oh, I mean, yes, it is very possible that a civilization existed in Egypt at that time."

When asked what his outburst was all about, Dr. le'Truth looked ashamed.

"Just a little of old me. I would have destroyed the life and career of whoever made such a claim. As a matter of fact I think I did do that to someone over the idea that water had damaged the structure. Part of the dogma, please pardon me."

We spoke to le'Truth about possibly being discredited himself.

"I plan to attempt to publish under a fake name, and I plan to hole up in a cave just in case the dogma police are after me."

After we wrapped up the interview we started monitoring the news coming out of the scientific community. It shocked us that the reaction from them was exactly what le'Truth had told us. Except that instead of ostracizing him the normal way, they excommunicated him just like the Catholic church would. They even told him that he would go to science hell when he died. A place where physics itself is skewed. A dieing world where Albert Einstein is king, only horrible because he keeps misplacing your proofs.

Hopefully he can get a job at McDonald's.

SatireSanity News Corp. 2012

Please feel free to comment on this story. If you found a controversial find, would you dare publish it? 

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