China's Leader Upset About Rebellion

Today an important story was shared with us from our Chinese correspondent, whose name must be protected but probably won't be. Reports show that China's Paramount Leader, Hu Jintao, has issued an investigation into the rebellious actions of the United States.

"Frankly speaking, Hu Jintao is upset that the States have refused to comply with directives demanded of the nation."



The Paramount Leader was seen speaking last night after he discovered that the US had disobeyed his order to begin setting up "sweatshops" to lower the impact on the nations economy. Our translator sent us the following statement;

"My advisers informed me that we own a bulk of that empirical nation. Thus of last March, I began to restructure the US as a Chinese territory. After members of my communist brethren tried to assume control of the government, as I was led to believe they had, disturbing news had been brought to my attention!"

According to our correspondent, the Paramount Leader had ordered that the new territory of America change all of it's currency to the yen.

"He really believes that he has control in this matter, but here are the facts;

China only owns one-point-one-six trillion of the nations debt, only about eight percent of the total debt. But America owes America $9.8 trillion.

Our leader, and please don't tell him I said this, is clearly delusional."

As this story is being published, China has one again issued a demand that all citizens begin riding bicycles with all remaining automobiles to be scrapped for the creation of a large statue of Hu Jintao. He is definitely crazy if he thinks to build what would be a humongous statue. 

SatireSanity News Corp. 2012