Google Glass Registry Created In All States

Glass Explorer Edition by Tedeytan

Google Glass, is it a wonder of technology or a social pariah? Many Google Glass users have recently found themselves under attack after all 50 of the States created a registry database for all users.

Many Google Glass users found themselves being round up and placed under arrest for not complying with new registry laws. Thousands have been forced to abandon their homes, many have lost their jobs and reports of children being taken from Glass owners have begun flooding the news. Owning a pair of these glasses could quite possibly ruin your life.

Many new laws now govern Google Glass users, the restrictions in place are even worse than those followed by sex offenders on the registry:

• Must register place of residence within (10) minutes of purchase of a pair of Google Glass.
• Any registered Google Glass offender must maintain a distance of 1,901,400 centimeters, or 62 thousand feet, or 11 miles, or 9.5 nautical miles from any living creature, human, animal, insect, fish, Godzilla, George W. Bush, corporations, and any remaining Furbies.
•  If forced outside, within possible sight of any normal living being or inanimate object, users must wear a sign on front of shirt letting people know that they wasted their money on a pair of Google Glass-wear.
• If at anytime a registered Glass offender finds themselves within 11 miles or less from any forbidden object or living creature, offender must cover their head with a paper sack, no holes allowed for sight. 
• Any offender seen in public without a paper bag covering their face will be arrested and sentenced a year of prison time for each living creature in an eleven mile vicinity.
• Any offender who breaks any law set forth will be wrongly accused and convicted of a sex crime.

Many people concerned for their privacy were seen dancing in the street, an odd reaction to be sure.

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Satire Sanity News Corps 2012-13

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