Today, the President declared that he did not wish to talk about anything "nuclear" with the leader of Iran.
After the last attempt to talk about nuclear related events, President Obama was exasperated after what can only be described as a mind-warping presentation from Ahmadinejad himself. You can check out our coverage of the presentation here.
"Ahmadinejad is a nice guy, alright. But every time we get together and play golf, all he does is talk about his nuclear program and his attempt to create viable nuclear kitchen appliances. Enough is enough, we can play golf next Sunday, Ahmadinejad, but no nuclear talk, at all."
President Ahmadinejad reportedly was very hurt by Obama's comment and was seen writing an apology with tears streaked all over his handwriting.
"If I had known Ahmadinejad was going to act this way, I would have been a little less abrasive with my approach. Ahmadinejad, if you're watching, if it pleases you, we could talk about destroying Israel instead?"
Ahmadinejad responded in an email several seconds later.
"That would be awesome! You really know how to comfort a friend. We can talk about my new nuclear blender on a future date.
Best Friends Forever,
Your Favorite Dictator, Ahmadinejad
P.S. My new blender is really awesome! It makes your snacks glow in the dark so you don't have to turn on the light to eat!"
--
In other news, a mysterious form of energy, who insisted his name was Nuclear, was unsure why Obama would have to clarify that he, Nuclear, was not talking to Iran.
"Maybe I misunderstood the headlines, but I am sure it was referring to me!"
Satire Sanity News Corp 2012.
Showing posts with label president. Show all posts
Showing posts with label president. Show all posts
Monday, October 22, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Vice President Biden Posts His Job On Craigslist
Shortly after opening up the offices here at SatireSanity News Corps, our resident slacker came across a Craigslist job opening.
"I was doing my usual, playing World of Warcraft, checking Twitter and Facebook, at the same time. How's that for multitasking, my boss must be proud. Well after I got done defeating this level 85 Ogre-elephant, I decided to get on Craigslist and look for a cheap hooker, you know, the usual. Well, as I was looking in the for sale ads for a fifty year old prostitute, I came across an ad that just stuck out. I looked at it and was fairly surprised to see a listing by vice president Biden. At first I thought I had found out his dirty little secret, him being a hooker is not the surprise I expected."
"I was doing my usual, playing World of Warcraft, checking Twitter and Facebook, at the same time. How's that for multitasking, my boss must be proud. Well after I got done defeating this level 85 Ogre-elephant, I decided to get on Craigslist and look for a cheap hooker, you know, the usual. Well, as I was looking in the for sale ads for a fifty year old prostitute, I came across an ad that just stuck out. I looked at it and was fairly surprised to see a listing by vice president Biden. At first I thought I had found out his dirty little secret, him being a hooker is not the surprise I expected."
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
The Real Reason Republicans Want to Deregulate Wall Street
This just in from our star correspondent, Daniel H. His report comes just after his interview with Karl Rove and cronies. According to Mr. Rove, the push to deregulate is just another election-winning venture.
"If we deregulate Wall Street before Obama's term is up, we just may go into another recession. That way, when Romney wins the White House, he can blame Obama for the financial struggles he will face."
When asked what his point was, Rove shared the following with us:
"If we deregulate Wall Street before Obama's term is up, we just may go into another recession. That way, when Romney wins the White House, he can blame Obama for the financial struggles he will face."
When asked what his point was, Rove shared the following with us:
Friday, August 24, 2012
Nancy Pelosi Leaks Sex Tape
Our correspondent, Peter Berg found a disturbing video online today as he was skimming for news of import. The video in question shows in great detail the sex life of Nancy Pelosi, former majority leader of the House. What is very disturbing is her choice of sexual partners. It appears that Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres are both present in the video. This leads to the question of how long Pelosi has been doing this and why she has never informed her constituents of her sexual preferences.Thursday, August 23, 2012
George W. Bush Believes Wife a Target for Terrorism
George W. Bush spoke with me today in an interview about the importance of catching terrorists. He was very adamant when he said that terrorists are discovering new ways to terrorize America.
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