"I was doing my usual, playing World of Warcraft, checking Twitter and Facebook, at the same time. How's that for multitasking, my boss must be proud. Well after I got done defeating this level 85 Ogre-elephant, I decided to get on Craigslist and look for a cheap hooker, you know, the usual. Well, as I was looking in the for sale ads for a fifty year old prostitute, I came across an ad that just stuck out. I looked at it and was fairly surprised to see a listing by vice president Biden. At first I thought I had found out his dirty little secret, him being a hooker is not the surprise I expected."
Our CEO began tapping his foot and glaring at the reporter.
"So I clicked on it thinking it might give me a chance to blackmail the guy, seeing as they pay me shit here."
The CEO's face turned red and he began writing on a post-it note "Fire Him".
"What I realized is that Biden, being the buffoon he is, put the listing in the wrong section. It definitely should belong in the 'men seeking stupid people' section. But down to the point. As I was reading it I found out that it was in fact a listing offering his vice presidential position to someone who could do a better job then him."
The listing stated the following...
"I have been the vice president for the last four years and I am rather displeased with my aptitude in this position. There are far better people out there who could do this job much better then me. I mean, look at my track record, nothing accomplished, unless you include make a fool of myself. When I do speeches I rarely stay on course, often making one gaffe after another. Just look at the news of the last few days. The producers of the Democratic National Convention are crossing their fingers that for once in my life, I will not stray off topic.
I really do like sailing. It has been a hobby of mine since I was a young pup. I think laws should be put in place to protect those who sail, and ensure that they have clear water to sail upon. Did I mention that I feel under-qualified for this job?
So what I am saying is this, I am looking for those who wish to apply for this job. Since I am no good at hiring anything, my mother will be in charge of the hiring process. Oh wait, is she dead, or is that my father?"
As our office staff began laughing, our reporter continued...
"He doesn't even give a contact number, but I suspect, due to where he posted his listing, after he has been replaced as the vice president, he fully intends to become a hook..."
The reporter was cut off after four security guards calmly picked him up and carried him out of the building.
Here are some famous quotes by Joe Biden himself that may tickle your funny bone.
"I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you." --Joe Biden, citing Theodore Roosevelt's famous quote, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." (April 26, 2012)
"Folks, I can tell you I've known eight presidents, three of them intimately." --Joe Biden, Aug. 22, 2012
"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." --Joe Biden, speaking at a town hall meeting in Nashua, New Hampshire, Sept. 10, 2008 (Source)
SatireSanity News Corp. 2012
Liked it a lot.
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