Apple Maps Clear Winner Over Google

The world of Apple maps.

Today employees at Apple detailed how their map service was superior to Google Maps.

Capital of Germany, Berlin, relocates to Antarctica

"People may say that Apple Maps is garbled and unable to pinpoint certain places. The fact of the matter is that Apple Maps shows the true form of the world. For instance, when you search for New York City, it marks a spot 500 miles north and 1,000 miles into the planet core. While that may seem like an error to most people, our conspiracy consultants tell us that we have been tricked into believing the New York is where we think it is."

"Google is part of the coverup. They know that New York City is not where they say it is. Apple's satellites show us the true setup of the planet."

When geographers questioned Apple Maps for depicting Russia adjacent to Sarah Palin's backyard, the woman herself had something to add to the controversy.


"I always said I could see Russia from my backyard. Thank God that Apple shows us the truth about our planet. If Apple says that Russia is in my backyard, I must concede that I have been indoctrinated to think Russia was across the ocean."

According to Apple Maps, Sarah Palin's house and the country of Russia are located in the inner core of the planet, otherwise known as hell.

When one uses Apple Maps to locate Apple itself, Apple appears to be located at the Sun. Or as Apple explains it, Apple is the sun.