CNN broke fresh news today about an intrusive data farm in a small farming community. According to the surrounding resident, "Data Farm", the person in question has been downright rude.
"Data Farm and his brother Cow Farm are the newcomers to this town. Cow Farm comes into the town diner, orders his food and refuses to leave a tip. And don't get me started on Data Farm. He was just caught last night digging in someones trash can."
Data Farm is an employee of Microsoft, scouting the area for freshly grown silicon. He stated that he had a perfectly good reason for his actions in the town.
"I am a person of logic. Unlike the normal person, emotions are not present within me. I see everything in 1's and 0's. You can't blame me if I appear to be rude."
Microsoft released a statement today about it's plan on the outskirts of this small farming town.
"The area in question is the perfect place to expand Microsoft's empire. With a fresh new supply of silicon, we can flood the market with our own hardware."
Former CEO, Bill Gates confirmed that one of his oldest dreams, Microsoft producing hardware, would come true.
"Microsoft dominates the market with Windows. With a place in the computer hardware market, we can engineer our next version of Windows to only function on our systems."
Apple later filed suit against Microsoft , stating that they held a patent on proprietary systems.
"Only Apple is allowed to constrain it's customers. If our sycophants see that Microsoft offers the same lack of freedom with it's products it could lead to massive customer loss."
Data Farm told us that if his venture in the town was successful, Microsoft would finally be able to counter the iPhone market by manufacturing it's first "ePhone".
Satire Sanity News Corp 2012
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