Showing posts with label scandal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scandal. Show all posts

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Justin Bieber Exposed, Lip-syncing Scandal


Last week, on stage, after being exposed as being bulimic, Justin Bieber made the headlines again today after a blooper on stage.

Halfway into his new song, 'Believe', the music skipped, literally. Justin was caught lip-syncing.

After begging the crowd to believe that his voice had just skipped a little, the fans began wondering if Justin Bieber was just a hot young man, rather than a hot young man who could sing.

After the story broke the on the nightly news, a little known figure, a native of Chernobyl, Russia, propelled to the forefront.

Around the world, audiences watched in silence as a young man from Russia, deformed at birth, took the center stage. With two extra sets eyes on his forehead and little midget twin dangling from his neck, not many people could believe what happened next.

The Russian native began to sing...

"Where would I be, if you, if you
If you didn't believe
Wouldn't know how it feels to
Touch the sky, if you didn't believe
Believe, believe

It didn't matter how many times I got knocked on the floor
You knew one day I would be standing tall
Just look at us now

Cause everything starts from something
But something would be nothing
Nothing if your heart didn't dream with me

Cause everything starts from something
But something would be nothing
Nothing if your heart didn't dream with me
Where would I be, if you didn't believe."

The shock was clear on the news channel. The weatherman and the sportsman were sobbing on the floor. This was the voice we had always known as Justin Bieber's.

Justin Bieber later made a statement to the claims that he had stolen the voice of a deformed guy.

"This mutant was obviously lip-syncing my song. I am the voice behind my music and I will always be the voice behind my music.

Oh and despite what Satire Sanity News reported the other day, I am not bulimic and my mother never made a statement to that effect."

--

In other news, plastic surgeons and makeup artists board flights to Russia to make the real voice behind the music even hotter than Justin himself.

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012

Friday, September 21, 2012

WebRing.com Has No Respect For It's Members

WebRing has recently come under fire from enraged bloggers, claiming that WebRing is adding unauthorized content to their sites.

"I went to my blog this morning and my page was in chaos. The navigation bar that WebRing requires on member sites had been altered from it's vertical view in the left sidebar to a horizontal view that stretched over my blog content."

"Unauthorized by me, WebRing has added this 'Power Surf Bar' at the bottom of my blog. Not only does this require redirecting my blog viewers to a WebRing server, but it messes with the code in my navigation bar."


Monday, September 17, 2012

British Royals Upset About Topless Photos.


People magazine reported that the British Royal Family issued a complaint to social media outlets after topless photos of Kate, Prince Williams wife, received little to no attention.

"We are upset that these photos have not turned viral."

After Kate sent her photos to the local tabloid, she became enraged when she was told that the photos were useless.

Kate later reportedly posted on YouTube a video of the topless pictures, as a slideshow. She was later seen running through Buckingham Palace screaming. Husband William felt inclined to make a statement.

"My Kate is upset because her video has only had one view."

YouTube found out about the video when the one viewer had flagged it as "nasty".

"We had no choice but to remove that video. It is regrettably that we had to take such actions."

The Royal Family later released a statement condemning YouTube for it's censorship.