Justin Bieber Exposed, Lip-syncing Scandal

Last week, on stage, after being exposed as being bulimic, Justin Bieber made the headlines again today after a blooper on stage.

Halfway into his new song, 'Believe', the music skipped, literally. Justin was caught lip-syncing.

After begging the crowd to believe that his voice had just skipped a little, the fans began wondering if Justin Bieber was just a hot young man, rather than a hot young man who could sing.

After the story broke the on the nightly news, a little known figure, a native of Chernobyl, Russia, propelled to the forefront.

Around the world, audiences watched in silence as a young man from Russia, deformed at birth, took the center stage. With two extra sets eyes on his forehead and little midget twin dangling from his neck, not many people could believe what happened next.

The Russian native began to sing...

"Where would I be, if you, if you
If you didn't believe
Wouldn't know how it feels to
Touch the sky, if you didn't believe
Believe, believe

It didn't matter how many times I got knocked on the floor
You knew one day I would be standing tall
Just look at us now

Cause everything starts from something
But something would be nothing
Nothing if your heart didn't dream with me

Cause everything starts from something
But something would be nothing
Nothing if your heart didn't dream with me
Where would I be, if you didn't believe."

The shock was clear on the news channel. The weatherman and the sportsman were sobbing on the floor. This was the voice we had always known as Justin Bieber's.

Justin Bieber later made a statement to the claims that he had stolen the voice of a deformed guy.

"This mutant was obviously lip-syncing my song. I am the voice behind my music and I will always be the voice behind my music.

Oh and despite what Satire Sanity News reported the other day, I am not bulimic and my mother never made a statement to that effect."

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In other news, plastic surgeons and makeup artists board flights to Russia to make the real voice behind the music even hotter than Justin himself.

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012

Justin Bieber Bulimic?

Valuable puke hits stage.

Today a video was released by MSNBC showing pop-star Justin Bieber puking on stage.

Manager Scooter Braun commented on the video.

"Justin had a lot on his plate earlier, some clam chowder, shrimp alfredo, ice cream and milk. The clam chowder may have been undercooked."

Some critics claim that Justin Bieber is fighting an eating disorder, concluding that Bieber is bulimic.

"The first step on the path of recovery for Justin is admitting he has bulimia. Some regular visits to BA, Bulimics Anonymous would help him out a lot."

Justin's mother, Pattie Mallette told us that this has been an ongoing struggle for Justin. At age 12, Justin reportedly weighed 500 pounds.

"He was such a big boy. He kept crushing the chairs in the house. One time he even broke one of the escalators at the Mall of America. That was when he became bulimic."

According to Justin's mom, forcing himself to puke on stage was a new development.

"I always knew he was puking backstage, but on stage, never!"

After the event on stage, Justin was forcibly admitted to the local psychiatric hospital for bulimia. Reports from the hospital state that they have had to superglue Justin's food to his stomach and restrain his fingers.

Ebay has reported that Justin Bieber's puke is selling for $1200 dollars an ounce. Only 4 ounces left!

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012