Paul Ryan Outed as a Gay Liberal.

Yesterday, during the Democratic National Convention, Paul Ryan was caught on his laptop searching gay porn. But that is not the worst of it. According to our informant, Paul Ryan also had been secretly sending fund money to Obama's campaign headquarters.

"I was there in the room when I caught Paul Ryan in the act. First, I saw him wiring money to the Democratic Federal Labor Party. Later that night after viewing many sites depicting male on male action, I saw Ryan posting anonymous comments praising both President Obama and Nancy Pelosi."

When Mitt Romney was informed of Ryan's actions his his face went blank. After awhile of staring off into space, a smile formed on Mitt's lips.

Today marked the beginning of the Democratic National Convention. MSNBC, CNN and various other programming channels such as PBS gave full coverage of this event. 

However, FOX News, up to its old shenanigans, gave mediocre coverage, if you call coverage panning the stadium seats. Not only did they not cover the speeches, they called all in attendance "freaks" and belittled the speakers. Classic ridicule without giving the audience a grounding point. As those watching FOX News did not hear the speakers themselves, they had only FOX to pass judgement for them. 

The Real Reason Republicans Want to Deregulate Wall Street

This just in from our star correspondent, Daniel H. His report comes just after his interview with Karl Rove and cronies. According to Mr. Rove, the push to deregulate is just another election-winning venture.

"If we deregulate Wall Street before Obama's term is up, we just may go into another recession. That way, when Romney wins the White House, he can blame Obama for the financial struggles he will face."

When asked what his point was, Rove shared the following with us:

Credit Card Company Denies Man For Having Perfect Credit Score

Owe Us Money Inc., a credit card company, recently received a complaint from a Minneapolis man. According to the complaint, the man, Geud Kreditson, was denied a credit card because his credit was too good.

SatireSanity News Corp: You claim that you were denied a new credit line with Owe Us Money Inc. Can you share with us what their representative said to you?

Mitt Romney Conveniently Forgets About the People of Tuvalu and Other Things

Last night at the the Republican convention, Mitt Romney somehow made it to the stage. After what seemed like hours of roundabout opinions that revealed nothing of his real stance, Romney started getting a gurgle in his intestinal region. This was the big nasty, something that would lose him the election if he did not make it to the bathroom. What would his boy-toy Paul Ryan think of him. Does his wife know about his obsession? Mitt Romney knew that he needed to wrap up the speech quickly, so he began to spew forth disinformation.

New Signs of Civilization Before Sumer

An exciting bit of news hit our desk late last night from a renowned archaeologist, the Doctor James le'Truth. Stunning information was discovered by Dr. le'Truth last month at a dig in the Sahara desert region. le'Truth claims that he found and dated artifacts that show their very ancient nature. After being skeptical of his readings, le'Truth retested the artifacts ten different times using different methods each time. The age of the artifacts? Over twenty thousand years old.

"I was amazed at this discovery. After all, I was the one who had a fellow archaeologist discredited and put to shame by the scientific community. I destroyed her, mainly because I did not want to agree that most of what we as archaeologists and cultural anthropologists support as fact, is indeed false."

He went on to say that he used to be part of the dogmatic community.

Stupid Person Doesn't Like People Who Graduated High School

This insanely boring news was brought to our attention here at SatireSanity News Corp. only a few hours ago. A man by the name of Butch was approached by our star reporter, Daniel H, after a commotion occurred outside of a local high school.

When our reporter approached the high school he was hit by a wave of stupidity, radiating from a distinctly ignorant look man-child. He was able to ask Butch a few questions about his protesting outside of the school.

Drinking and Driving - The Harsh Reality

This is a video I direct with a friend of mine about the consequences of drunk driving. Please watch, comment and enjoy!

Apple Still Blowing the Whistle

Last week, after the famous court battle between Apple and Samsung finished with Apple being triumphant, Samsung was up in arms about appeal. But it doesn't stop at that.

According to our source at the US patent office, Apple has been getting patents for just about anything. An Apple employee issued the following statement:

"After our win against Samsung, we plan to monopolize the smartphone market with yet another lawsuit. Only this time, it will be against all current smartphone manufacturers."

China's Leader Upset About Rebellion

Today an important story was shared with us from our Chinese correspondent, whose name must be protected but probably won't be. Reports show that China's Paramount Leader, Hu Jintao, has issued an investigation into the rebellious actions of the United States.

"Frankly speaking, Hu Jintao is upset that the States have refused to comply with directives demanded of the nation."