Mitt Romney Conveniently Forgets About the People of Tuvalu and Other Things

Last night at the the Republican convention, Mitt Romney somehow made it to the stage. After what seemed like hours of roundabout opinions that revealed nothing of his real stance, Romney started getting a gurgle in his intestinal region. This was the big nasty, something that would lose him the election if he did not make it to the bathroom. What would his boy-toy Paul Ryan think of him. Does his wife know about his obsession? Mitt Romney knew that he needed to wrap up the speech quickly, so he began to spew forth disinformation.

Man still unsure zombies are real.

A man from Fargo, North Dakota is still unsure if zombies are real. After an intense discussion with the city council, he believes that the only way to be safe, one way or another, zombies being real or not, is to barricade the town and hold all visitors in quarantine.

Roz Bombie, head of the city council thinks the suggestion is ridiculous, pointing out that the "zombie" in question was alive during the attack.

The man who suggested the new law, Moe Ofereaxsalot claimed that even if it was a myth, it would protect us in the future when he claims the government will begin trying to reanimate corpses.