Mitt Romney Conveniently Forgets About the People of Tuvalu and Other Things

Last night at the the Republican convention, Mitt Romney somehow made it to the stage. After what seemed like hours of roundabout opinions that revealed nothing of his real stance, Romney started getting a gurgle in his intestinal region. This was the big nasty, something that would lose him the election if he did not make it to the bathroom. What would his boy-toy Paul Ryan think of him. Does his wife know about his obsession? Mitt Romney knew that he needed to wrap up the speech quickly, so he began to spew forth disinformation.



"Obama said he'd stop rising oceans and he'd heal the planet. My promise is to help you and your family"

On the distant island of  Tuvalu, mass protests broke out after this statement.

"He plans to help the American families, by neglecting the ocean. What will they say when our island drowns beneath the oceans!? We are already trying to purchase land of both the USA and Australia. Maybe Romney would rather get our money then save our homeland?"

Later on in Romney's speech, he revealed that he would lower income taxes on his preferred tax bracket, the billionaires of the USA fell in love with Romney on this one.


Closing up, Romney said one things,

"I plan to create 12 million jobs. Look at my track record, I recently fired several employees and I shipped thousands of jobs to China. See, I have experience with these kinds of things. So I pledge to you tonight, I will create 12 million jobs in China. This should help save me money for my ludicrous corporation. And I promise that the more Chinese jobs we create, the better off the American people will be."

The idiots in the audience clapped their hands off, obviously unable to understand Mormon speech, as Romney ran to the bathroom.