Thanks

Just want to thank all that have visited my blog. Almost have 100 page visits. I have only just started this blog and I think it will be a success. Please continue to check out my new posts, share and enjoy!

The Pope Goes Into Hiding After Accusation

See our first look at this story.

Today at the Vatican, the Pope finally came to the conclusion that Jesus Christ was indeed a witch. His judgement came after the Pope declared all miracles a source of evil.

"God does not condone any supernatural events. He must be really disappointed with his Son on this matter."

Jesus rebutted by mentioning that the Vatican had been found guilty of covering up sexual scandals for decades.

Man still unsure zombies are real.

A man from Fargo, North Dakota is still unsure if zombies are real. After an intense discussion with the city council, he believes that the only way to be safe, one way or another, zombies being real or not, is to barricade the town and hold all visitors in quarantine.

Roz Bombie, head of the city council thinks the suggestion is ridiculous, pointing out that the "zombie" in question was alive during the attack.

The man who suggested the new law, Moe Ofereaxsalot claimed that even if it was a myth, it would protect us in the future when he claims the government will begin trying to reanimate corpses.

Nancy Pelosi Leaks Sex Tape

Our correspondent, Peter Berg found a disturbing video online today as he was skimming for news of import. The video in question shows in great detail the sex life of Nancy Pelosi, former majority leader of the House. What is very disturbing is her choice of sexual partners. It appears that Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres  are both present in the video. This leads to the question of how long Pelosi has been doing this and why she has never informed her constituents of her sexual preferences.

Obamacare Reportedly Covers Dead People

Yesterday, after wrapping up my interview with awesome, charitable Dick Cheney, I looked over the extensive recording of the interview. Being as it lasted about 5 hours recording Dick Cheney's humble self, I fell asleep within 30 seconds of his energetic talk. It appears that after Dick Cheney realized I was asleep, he began saying truthful things that the radical left would call propaganda.

The Jar Speaks Out

According to our correspondent, an event occurred at the Dorothy Day Hospitality House in Moorhead, Minnesota. The police were called to the house for what can only be described  as a horrendous crime, a true invasion of privacy.

I will be adding a song that a song artist has provided to me here within the next few days. If you wish to contact him, contact me and I will ask if he authorizes such contact.

Good night everyone! More satires tomorrow!

Obama Finds Hair in Soup

Disturbing news came out of the White House yesterday.

Vatican Declares Jesus Possible Witch

A report leaked from Vatican City last night reveals yet another example of the insanity rampant near the papal seat. The report covered the judgement passed down by the current Pope about the miracles reportedly performed by Jesus Christ could be tied to witchcraft. The report puts suspicion on the source of Christ's miracles. If the Pope decides that the miracles are indeed witchcraft, Jesus may find himself a wanted man by the Vatican. A statement by the Pope puts question on Christ's ability to fly, read minds, transmute water into wine, heal and raise the dead as potentially witchcraft based.

After repeating this to Christ in a prayer, Jesus shared a tidbit with me.

"How dare the Pope accuse me of witchcraft! I am a part of God, am I not allowed godly power?"

I sent a copy of Christ's words to the media adviser for the Pope but no response has yet to be received.

Please stay tuned for updates.

Daniel Hines
Reporter for SatireSanity Inc.

George W. Bush Believes Wife a Target for Terrorism

George W. Bush spoke with me today in an interview about the importance of catching terrorists. He was very adamant when he said that terrorists are discovering new ways to terrorize America.

Lazy Boy Tired of "Lazy Boys"

Earlier this afternoon, one of our correspondents was cornered by an angry individual, Lazy Boy, a big plush navy blue recliner, with an evident depression in the cushion. Lazy Boy had discovered that our correspondent was in the area and demanded to be interviewed.

"In all my life, I have been abused by obese men. They sit on me, fart and sometimes wet themselves. Let us not mention the gross amount of food and soda spilled on me!"

Our correspondent asked the recliner if he would like to make a statement.

"Lose weight, and stop using me as a trash can. Oh and a shampoo and a new cushion would be appreciated".

Dairy Queen Endorses Lady Gaga

Many months after Lady Gaga's hit single "Born This Way" was introduced to the public, Dairy Queen has decided to endorse Lady Gaga and her music.

The CEO for Dairy Queen was ecstatic when he first heard the song, "Born This Way".

"Don't be a drag, just be a queen", the CEO is often seen shouting out the window of his SUV.

Since his discovery of Lady Gaga's new song, the CEO of Dairy Queen has become Lady Gaga's worst nightmare. After the CEO emailed Lady Gaga's private account asking her to change the lyrics of her song, Gaga filed a police report and reportedly requested a protection order.

Lady Gaga was later asked exactly what changes were asked of her.

"Don't be a drag, eat Dairy Queen".

Mitt Romney Not Sure What Mormonism Is

Last Saturday, our chief correspondent, Daniel Hines, got a chance to speak with republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. After the candidate shared with us that he had no idea why he was running for president, Daniel asked Mitt about his proclaimed religion, Mormonism. The look on his face was one of confusion and terror.

Disturbance at Local American Crystal Sugar Plant

Workers at the American Crystal Sugar plant feel slighted after a well written proposal to the head of the company was rejected.