The Pope Goes Into Hiding After Accusation

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Today at the Vatican, the Pope finally came to the conclusion that Jesus Christ was indeed a witch. His judgement came after the Pope declared all miracles a source of evil.

"God does not condone any supernatural events. He must be really disappointed with his Son on this matter."

Jesus rebutted by mentioning that the Vatican had been found guilty of covering up sexual scandals for decades.

Vatican Declares Jesus Possible Witch

A report leaked from Vatican City last night reveals yet another example of the insanity rampant near the papal seat. The report covered the judgement passed down by the current Pope about the miracles reportedly performed by Jesus Christ could be tied to witchcraft. The report puts suspicion on the source of Christ's miracles. If the Pope decides that the miracles are indeed witchcraft, Jesus may find himself a wanted man by the Vatican. A statement by the Pope puts question on Christ's ability to fly, read minds, transmute water into wine, heal and raise the dead as potentially witchcraft based.

After repeating this to Christ in a prayer, Jesus shared a tidbit with me.

"How dare the Pope accuse me of witchcraft! I am a part of God, am I not allowed godly power?"

I sent a copy of Christ's words to the media adviser for the Pope but no response has yet to be received.

Please stay tuned for updates.

Daniel Hines
Reporter for SatireSanity Inc.