Teen Charged With Attempting To Blow Bubbles At Chicago Bar

Adel Daoub was charged yesterday for allegedly blowing bubbles at a local Chicago bar. City law enforcement claims that a call came in after Mr. Daoub was caught blowing bubbles inside a reputable Chicago bar.

"We were disturbed when we arrived on the scene. The man in question was blowing bubbles very close to the bar's ornate wallpaper. The owner feared for his life as the bubble came in contact with the expensive wall coverings."

Owner Steve Edwards was interviewed later at the police station.

"The jerk was trying to destroy the wallpaper. I feared for my life, what if he turned his bubbles on me?"

Adel Daoub was charged with possession of a bubble blower of mass destruction and for attempting to damage and destroy priceless wallpaper with damaging bubbles. He is currently being held on a 10 million dollar bond.

Stupid Person Doesn't Like People Who Graduated High School

This insanely boring news was brought to our attention here at SatireSanity News Corp. only a few hours ago. A man by the name of Butch was approached by our star reporter, Daniel H, after a commotion occurred outside of a local high school.

When our reporter approached the high school he was hit by a wave of stupidity, radiating from a distinctly ignorant look man-child. He was able to ask Butch a few questions about his protesting outside of the school.

George W. Bush Believes Wife a Target for Terrorism

George W. Bush spoke with me today in an interview about the importance of catching terrorists. He was very adamant when he said that terrorists are discovering new ways to terrorize America.