Town Hall "floor-mat" may favor Romney in Tuesday debate

Obama's campaign manager spoke to MSNBC last night on the advantages each of the candidates will possess during tomorrows debate.

"To start off, I find this to be unethical and unfair, the floor-mat Romney will be standing on offers him an overwhelming advantage."

According to extensive research done on the effects of Mormons standing on certain floor-mats, the individual's "magic Mormon underwear" would interact with it in an interesting way. The research shows that the "magic underwear" reacts with the floor-mat creating a magical aura of charisma.

"The magic that will be at work with Romney will be unstoppable. We are doing our best to remove all floor-mats, but if we do that, his magic underpants may react with the podium or some other overlooked object."

Obama has one advantage that may be useful. His ability to close his eyes, lower his head during a debate will give people the impression that he doesn't even need to argue what is so obvious. Or it may lead people to believe he is extremely tired and very talented at sleeping standing up.

The word on the streets is that Obama is posed to win due to his advantage.

"I know that I will vote for him. The appreciation he shows towards sleep is comforting. I love sleep, therefore I love Obama."

You can buy "Sleeping During Debates For Dummies" from your local bookstore for the low price of 29.99$. It also features an introduction written by Barrack Obama himself.

You can buy your own pair of "magic Mormon underwear" for the low price of joining a secretive cult and taking a holy pilgrimage to the holy planet of Kolob. Please see your local Mormon Temple of Doom for details.

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012

Presidential Debate Comes Down To Favorite Color

Presidential debate moderator loses her temper.

At last nights debate, between President Obama and former tax evader Mitt Romney, much was said and many lies to spoken.

Miss Piggy (a friend of Big Bird),the moderator for the debate, after an hour of being ignored, walked up to the podiums and backhanded them. After returning to her post, Miss Piggy asked them the most important question, a question that would solve the question of who to elect once and for all.

"What would you say is your favorite color? Romney, you may answer first."

After ten minutes of scratching his head, Romney cleared his throat.

"What was the question again?"

Miss Piggy began to shake with rage.

"Hiiieeee YAAAA!"

A large makeup kit smashed into Mitt's face.

"I ASKED, WHAT is your FAVORITE COLOR!!"

After Mitt Romney recovered from the blow he pulled out a little device, a device that would later be revealed by the camera as a 'lie creator'.

"My favorite color is green, like the planet where God lives, Kolob."

The President adjusted his suit coat and smiled.

"Romney says his favorite color is green, but when he was Governor he painted the governors mansion yellow. How do you explain that?

What is my favorite color? My favorite color is..."

Romney interrupted:

"What the President would like you to believe about clean energy is totally false. He tried to force a bill through congress three times. Three times! Three times he tried to change the term 'green energy' to 'red energy! AH HA!"

"Thank you for interrupting me FORMER GOVERNOR. My favorite color is blue, like the flag."

Miss Piggy removed herself from her seat and approached Mitt.

"Give me back my makeup case!"

As soon as the case returned to her hand she it chucked at Romney again. 


The debate was a success, or so MSNBC claimed.

"The color favored by the candidates will determine the election day results. Now we go to Chris Matthews reporting outside the local prostitute palace. What do you think was in Miss Piggy's makeup case..."

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012