New Computer Font Accidentally Created
Microsoft recently fired one of their most prestigious font designers after alleged drug use began to interfere with his work. The former employee was in the process of designing several new fonts, many with specifically aimed purposes. Of his most anticipated designs, MS Deli, specifically crafted for Deli ads and MS DriHuumor, dedicated solely for late night satire based, comedy scripts.
Upper management of the font design department declined to comment but other employees were easily swayed to share what they knew. The designer was a talent man with a taste for gardening.
“He was always so giddy, talking about his plants, if he should make some of his new fonts overly bold or italicized. He was good at his job but his only mistake that I ever seen him commit was career ending.”
The creative pot-head had been working on a new font that was based off of one already in circulation.
“While working on several different new designs, he received a request to create a variation of the ‘Arial’ font style. It was simple enough, or so everyone thought.”
Sources claim the former employee entered the office abnormally happy, even compared to his normal behavior. An intern reported that the designer kept talking about pretty, fuzzy purple plants.
“He was ten minutes late for a meeting. He was scheduled to present his “New Arial” font design.”
The stoner was seen entering his office space in a daze before sitting down and attacking the keyboard at rapid pace.
“He ran towards the conference room with a handful of paper while yelling that he had “done it.” An hour later, he was gone, not even allowed to grab his stuff.”
Sources from inside the conference room admitted to being caught off guard, some even extremely disgusted.
“It seems the idiot confused a few letters while typing out ‘Arial.’ ‘New Anal’, is a beautiful font to be sure, but not quite the name in which we were interested.”
Despite the mishap with the font name, Microsoft was inundated with requests for access to the font, everyone from adult movie producers to the perverted 12 year olds of the informed world.
No word yet on whether or not Microsoft will release the font in it’s present form or modify it so to appear less offensive.
In other news, MS DriHuumor, the font created with satire in mind, took off in a blaze.
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Daniel Hines
Main Author for Satire Sanity News Corp 2013
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