Batman Threatens Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel said no to a Batman related baby name on Thursday. During a tweet talking in general about her popular engagement to repulsive, soo last decade slime-ball Justin Timberlake, a fan asked Biel about baby names.

"@JessicaBiel I would b very happy if u named ur 1st baby Batmo. #Batman is awsome!"

After adamantly refusing the idea, Biel made the news after a claim that she doesn't have the funds to pay for therapy for her child in the future.

On Friday Biel received a reply tweet filled with hateful and threatening words, from Twitter username @RealBatman.

"@JessicaBiel Srry 2 hear u wont use the name. Screw u & dont expect me 2 come runnin if u need savin! #asshole, #batmanisawesome!"

Police are investigating if the Twitter user @RealBatman is truly Bruce Wayne once again hiding behind his famous moniker.

Nancy Grace dedicated a portion of her show to address the @RealBatman versus @JessicaBiel issue.

"As far as I know, Batman is a rogue vigilante, a loose cannon. He takes the law into his own hands and never takes responsibility for his actions. Kind of reminds me of John Hancock, also a rogue crime fighting superman. We managed to put that psycho into prison, why not Batman?

Now, I would think much differently if Batman managed to capture Casey Anthony for me. I would love to put her in my torture chamber!"

Sources reveal that if Casey Anthony were to be placed in Nancy's torture dungeon, the murderess would be the first female to reside there.

Suze Orman, an internationally acclaimed financial expert, was quick to point out the flaw in Biel's claimed inability to afford therapy.

"How much money does she have in savings? Does she have retirement money set aside? How much debt does she own right now? For Pete's sake, she owns a yacht! Either that or I am getting confused with some other massively expensive item.

Let's see, she has been in several movies, hits like "Blade: Trinity" and many seasons of "7th Heaven." So if she's asking for permission to assume that she is unable to afford therapy for her yet to be conceived child...

Well here's my answer for Jessica...

Denied!

Girlfriend, you have more than enough money to spare."

Satire Sanity News Corp. 2012


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